The first bit of advice you often get when getting a puppy is to make sure they are well socialised. But what does that actually mean? Well, puppies need to be exposed to different environments, sights, sounds, smells, meet different people, other dogs and other animals to be a well adjusted dog in our society. There’s a common belief, “Let your dog meet and greet as many people and other dogs as they can.” Usually, there are no rules that come around it. We see a huge amount of people believing that it’s quantity of interactions over quality, which is certainly not the case. It is really misunderstood that for a dog to be a well rounded adult, they need to meet and greet all that they can, or be exposed to as many places as they can go. Doing that can actually bring more harm than benefits if done in the wrong way. MEETING PEOPLE GONE WRONG If you allow your puppy to meet and greet everyone that they encounter all the time, what is the likelihood that the one day, when you don’t want him to jump up on your cousin’s kids, or your frail grandma who’s balance has gone to the wind, that they will actually listen to you? Their only understanding of people is that they get to say hello, and because they started this while they were small and cute, the interactions were probably loud, cuddly, and high energy. Now that they are twice the size, they don’t realise that the rules might change. You also get behaviours such as extreme hyperactivity when meeting new people. The thing about cute little puppies is that a lot of people make a big fuss when they meet them. How can you resist, when the most adorable thing you’ve seen all day is leaping up to you, licking and pining for your affection - you’re going to give in. But the puppy remembers those high energy, extremely rewarding interactions, and starts to hype up the moment they see a new human. Cue struggling at the end of the lead while on a street walk to see a person who might not actually want to say hello. As they get older, the harder they are to handle when they get to that level of excitement. There are actually benefits to meeting someone new and not making it a big deal… Besides, when we meet someone new, human etiquette doesn’t really encourage a big party, becoming best friends at that very moment– so why do we encourage it in our pups? MEETING DOGS GONE WRONG Most people believe that dogs need to have a very large friend group and run through the hills with their group of buddies. They imagine that their dog will be able to go up to any other dog, play bow, and bounce off into the sunset. The reality doesn’t work like that at all. Dogs and their social thresholds are extremely complex and unique. Some dogs are more introverted, and want to stick with the small social circle they create, while some other dogs are hypersocial and want to be friends with everyone. The thing is, this kind of disposition changes with age and maturity, and not all dogs match in energy when it comes to making friends. So the efforts of going up to every dog with your own to ‘socialise’ them, can really set up some poor learning situations. If you go to a dog park for the sole purpose of ‘socialising’ your puppy: who currently has no social skills, they may go up to a dog and show offensive behaviour. We often hear, ‘oh, it’s alright, they need to be told off a little’. But should it really be another dog’s job to educate YOUR puppy? And you really are playing with a lot of unknowns this way… What if the other dog takes it too far, and your puppy has an experience that leads them to be fearful of new dogs for the rest of their lives? On the flip side, even if every interaction goes without a hitch (and you’re extremely lucky if this is the case), you now have a puppy who expects every other dog to be their friend. So the first time you are simply walking down the street, and you need to walk past the other dog who is also out for a simple stroll, your puppy can show extreme frustration and confusion as to why they can’t make friends with this dog. Every other time they’ve allowed to play and have the best time ever! The rules change, and the puppy has no idea why. Taking a dog to daycare for the sole purpose of socialisation is another common mistake we see. Daycares are full of dogs who are already used to the space and the dynamics of the group, and a puppy will be plonked right in the middle of it, sometimes whether they like it or not. If you were an introvert, how extremely overwhelming would you find that? Daycares can be a great way to ensure your dog gets stimulation if you work long hours, and if set up correctly, they can be a wonderful experience for your dog… but they are not suitable for every dog. And they certainly shouldn’t be looked at as the most appropriate way for your pup to socialise. Our general rule of thumb is this: For every moment your dog spends playing with other dogs, you must double the quality play time with you. In short– your quality time must exceed that of your dog’s time with other dogs. Think about the outcome of how much value your dog has for listening to you, if they spend all their time at daycare or have the most fun when they are running around the dog park without once looking to see if you’re joining in. GETTING IT RIGHT We get it. We understand that you can’t spend every waking moment with your dog. We understand you want your dog to have buddies and they need to meet other dogs and people. WE AGREE. But before understanding that dogs do need to socialise simply because they are social creatures, you need to understand what socialisation really means. For us, socialisation is the gradual exposure to novelty in a positive way. This means if you want to socialise your dog no matter what, this must be done with no rush, and not in excess. There is a rule of three that we like to think of, and for this example we will use meeting other dogs.
This teaches your pup that not every dog is their business, and you can do this with people too! Go out somewhere and advocate for not saying hello to every person you come across, or ask people to only say hello if your puppy does something calm like sit down. This will help them learn that interactions with new people can be low energy and not be the biggest highlight of their day. When you want your dog to socialise and have friends, make sure you balance out how much time you spend with them having fun with them as well. Think about the kinds of fall out you may have if you overdo it. Will they drag you over to other dogs and people in public with you saying ‘but he’s friendly! I socialised him!’ Or will you be able to enjoy your time out together because you made sure to understand your dog's needs in the long run? Authored by Sarah Endres Dog Trainer and Behaviour Advisor
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