Filling Up the 'Trust Bank Account'

When it comes to healthy relationships, no matter who is in them, there is the element of trust and safety. When you spend a lot of time with one person or being, you need to feel like they have your back, and will be on your side if things go wrong. 

But the other thing about relationships is they are never going to be 100 percent perfect. Everybody makes mistakes, or sometimes a situation just doesn’t go as planned and something goes wrong.

When it comes to the bond with your dog, you can think of your relationship as like having a trust bank account. You want your account to sit in the green level and have your dog happily by your side, going on adventures, hanging out with you and generally being your best mate.

To ensure you sit in the green, there are things you can do that put ‘deposits’ into the account.
Things like:

• Playtime
  
• Training positively
  
• Joint adventures that your dog enjoys
  
• Interactions at home that your dog enjoys
  
• Offering the opportunity to opt in or out of situations
  

Note that we put in, ‘that your dog enjoys’. While we may think cuddles on the couch are nice, remember, it has to be nice for BOTH parties. Some dogs don’t like that kind of prolonged contact, and if you have to restrain your dog to get those cuddles, you may actually be taking withdrawals from the account.

Other instances which may be a withdrawal moment include:

• Having to take your dog to the vet 
  
• Accidentally stepping on them in the kitchen
  
• Raising your voice to reprimand them (or for some sensitive dogs, raising your voice in their presence).
  
• Chasing and restraining them to get their harness on before a walk
  

Your relationship bank account gets damaged whenever you do something, whether it’s on purpose or by accident, that makes your dog unsure about your intentions or makes them feel something unpleasant.

So it’s really, really important to have a relationship account that is constantly getting little deposits of goodness, and fills it up - so that if you do take a withdrawal, or accidentally make one, you don’t go into the red and have to do a whole heap of work to get back to a normal functioning level. 

Think about what you can do on a daily basis to build your trust account - here are some examples!

• Let your dog pick the route you walk if you go somewhere new
  
• Do some confidence building exercises where you can praise them for trying something new
  
• Providing opportunities for your dog to express natural behaviours - i.e. taking them to the beach to dig, letting them sniff a tree for as long as they desire
  
• Go through their trick repertoire or teach them something new
  

• The great thing about endeavouring to always put deposits in the trust bank account with your dog, is that you have a lot of fun while doing it. It is also your insurance that when life throws a curveball at you both, you’ll have a strong enough relationship to get through the adversity… together.​
  

Authored by Sarah Endres
Dog Trainer and Behaviour Advisor

The “Trust Bank Account” metaphor has stemmed from concepts presented by Dr. Susan Freidman and John McGuigan (Glasgow Dog Trainer and Behaviour Consultant).