Double Standards

In general, the vast majority of humans have the capacity for empathy. We have a tendency to place our human emotions onto animals, in many ways, but also fail to do so in others. It is almost like we have empathy for our dogs only when it suits us best - but if we compare scenarios by putting ourselves, our children, or other people in place of our pooches, the narrative would change pretty drastically.

We are humans, and dogs are dogs. Are we created equal? No, not really. But does that mean we should succumb to placing unrealistic double standards on our furry friends? You could, but in our experience it doesn’t do you or your dog much good because the standards are just that; unrealistic.

What are the most common double standards we see when it comes to our dogs? Let’s go through them.

INTERRUPTING MEAL TIME

A common misunderstood training belief is that we need to take our dogs' food bowl away from them mid-meal. Why? To exert some form of “dominance” or let them know “who’s boss”. A piece of advice…don’t! 

How would you feel if you were eating a meal and someone kept taking your plate away before you were finished. I know if it were me, the first time I’d be stunned and caught off guard. The second time I’d be rather annoyed. And the third time, well lets just say, I’d be ready to wrestle with the plate thief so that I can finish my meal! 

To be blunt, this belief is far more likely to CREATE possessive behaviours in a dog than gain any sort of respect from them. 

HAVING A SAFE PLACE TO GO

Having a safe space to retreat to is a need that is pretty universal across species. For us, it oftentimes comes in the form of a bedroom, which we personalise, make cosy, and find respite in. We feel safest in this space, because we spend on average 8 hours in our most vulnerable state, sleeping, there.

And yet, we hear the rhetoric often… ‘I don’t believe in putting my dog in a crate.’ Our team has gone into many homes where there are big, fluffy beds for the dogs, but the idea of putting four walls around it, and making it more secure, is cruel! Yet their dog’s are often begging for that kind of security. We’ll see them finding other, quiet, secluded spots like under the bed, or being able to settle down because there is no defined space of relaxation.

You can see this in dogs Charlie who lives with our trainer Sarah. She goes to her crate when she’s feeling a little overwhelmed and wants to be left alone. Her crate is a space where no one comes and bothers her, so she ends up taking herself there when she needs a break.

Being crate trained is a skill that helps you and your dog have time to switch off. We teach our human babies about alone time when we put them down to have their sleep in a cot - we can do the same for our puppies!

PUNISHING FEAR

The world can be a pretty intimidating place. When introduced to something new, there can be hesitance or even fear. Your child is worried about a storm, because the lightning is unpredictable and the thunder is really loud overhead. Do you yell at them for trying to hide behind the curtain or for coming over to you for comfort? Or do you switch on their favourite movie, and bundle up under some blankets until the storm has passed?

Now let’s change the word child to dog. You probably saw that coming. The idea that you just berate your dog for trying to climb up on the sofa to be with you, or show signs of distress, is one that doesn’t translate to if you were with your human child. Why does the empathy have to stop when our dogs clearly show that they have emotional responses too?

Just a note: You can’t reinforce fear or any other emotional responses in your dog, so giving them some support when they are feeling overwhelmed will do them a world of good!

EXPOSURE TO BULLIES

If you knew that a big group of teens were harassing your kid on the way to the park, and had even gone so far to push them around and get physical, what are the chances that you would either intervene by trying to discuss with their parents about their behaviour, or, in a more passive way, decide to show your child a new park to go to.

It would be pretty cruel to expect your child to walk the same route, past those bullies, and risk the situation escalating.

And yet, a street walk where dog’s are behind fences, doing their best to intimidate your dog, is a daily or sometimes twice daily occurrence for your pup to go through. And sometimes it’s even more than one fence! 

Not to mention the stress that would come from going to the same dog park or location where an off-lead dog has rushed and accosted you and your dog. Did you know that we refer to those spaces as the ‘scene of a crime’, and returning there can increase the stress in your dog in ways you don’t even realise? Don’t continuously expose your dog to bullies who you know are there - in most cases we aren’t able to get in touch with the owners about their dog’s behaviour, so the passive way of finding somewhere new to go benefits your dog immensely.

GETTING YOUR LICENCE

Most of us have a licence to drive.To get that licence we were taught the skills we needed and had to practise them under supervision BEFORE we were given the freedom to drive alone. Why? Safety. If we put someone with no driving skills in a car and get them to drive, there’s a good chance they’d end up in an accident.

Isn’t it only logical that we think the same way for our dogs? Yes, we all want to give our dogs freedom. But it’s not fair to give them that freedom and expect them to behave a certain way without actually putting in the time to teach them these behaviours. If your dog doesn’t recall, if they don’t know how to listen to you around distractions, they aren’t ready to be let loose on the world! Don’t set your dog up to crash.

WORKING FOR FREE

Most of us go to work. In exchange for doing that work, we get some sort of compensation, generally your wages. Not many people work for free.

If we now put a dog in this scenario, and we have some sort of expectation that they will ‘behave’. ‘Behaving’ isn’t just something a dog knows, it is - or at least it should be - something we have reinforced over and over again. ‘Behaving’ is a job, it is not in general something a dog would naturally choose to do. 

Yet for some reason there is this double standard…”When do we stop giving the treats?” In other words, when do we stop paying the dog?  There is this weird, but common, human idea that you use treats to train a dog, but then expect that at some point you won’t have to use them (or another reinforcer). Let’s look at this in a different light. While you are trained to do a job, you get paid. After you are trained, do the wages stop coming in? Absolutely not! 
If you stopped getting paid for your job, how much longer would you continue to work there? Probably not long…

And here we have a double standard. We work and expect to be paid for it, yet our dogs work for us — yes, continuing to do things we have trained IS working — but we want them to miraculously do it for free?! 

STRANGER DANGER

If someone you didn’t know came up to you and your partner while you were walking on the street, and pulled your companion into their arms for a big hug, what would your reaction be? Probably one of shock, fear, or maybe even anger. Not to mention whatever your partner would probably do to get the person off them - and their reaction would be justified!

We don’t expect or invite strangers to touch, talk to, or interact with our friends and family when we are out and about, and yet it seems to be a common occurrence, and readily accepted when we are out with our dogs.

There is a sense that when someone sees a dog, that they are entitled to come over and say hello, cuddle, invade the space of our dogs, and sometimes without even checking if it’s alright first. On top of that, people are less likely to check in or understand if the dog wants to be touched.

Dogs can be introverted, and worried about strangers. If your child was shy, would you hesitate for even a moment to tell someone to back off if they were invading your child’s boundaries? Why does human etiquette mean we have to subject our dogs to the same kind of experience? Advocate for your dog’s personal bubble and space, like you would for a person that you love.

THE BIGGEST DOUBLE STANDARD OF THEM ALL

‘Oh, but it’s just a dog.’

But is it really, ‘just a dog’? What about a member of your household, a constant companion, a reason to smile and laugh?

We don’t go around dismissing other people by saying, ‘Oh, but you’re just a human’. Dogs, like us, have emotions, likes and dislikes, and have extremely strong social relationships.

We have a tendency to place human emotions onto our dogs in many situations, yet entirely miss the mark when it can be most important to feel that empathy and understanding. 

It doesn’t hurt to sometimes take a moment to think when your dog is acting in a way that may be confusing, or frustrating for you. Take the time to feel some compassion, to open your heart and mind to their experience. How would you feel if the tables were turned? 

Co-Authored by
​Brooke Rapira 
Prime Pups Educator & Dog Sport Instructor
Sarah Endres
Dog Trainer and Behaviour Advisor