'They'll be Fine,' - A Dangerous Phrase

fine (synonyms)

• satisfactory • all right • acceptable • suitable • good enough • adequate • tolerable •

Chelsea the family retriever was ‘fine’ up until someone reached into the car where she was tethered and she nipped their hand. Marco the papillon was ‘fine’ when new people pet him on the beach, but when they tried to do it on the street later he snapped at their hands. Rush the collie was ‘fine’ with kids, until a visiting child tried to climb on him like he was their family dog, and then he snapped and punctured the child's lip…

‘They have been fine until…’ is something we encounter often in households where a bite incident has occurred. It’s such a Kiwi approach, the ‘she’ll be right’ attitude, and also a very hopeful, human view to how a dog will act in situations and environments that are in fact more stressful, unpredictable, and scary for our pets than we realise.

And what situation is just around the corner that can be stressful, even for human folk?

Christmas Day.

Put yourself in your dog’s paws. Loud new noises, bustling energy, people trying to touch you who you don’t really know (yes, we met Aunty Sally six months ago when she was sitting down with a cup of tea in her hand, but now she’s fussing over your ears!) children, new smells, lights, laughter, weird movements (something called dancing?)

It’s the most wonderful time of the year… or maybe it isn’t?

Just as the road toll increases over the holiday period, it is over the Christmas and Holiday period that we are preparing for a larger ‘bite toll’ or at least pre-bite incidents to occur, and that is because the approach of ‘they’ll be fine’ is going to be implemented, and dogs are going to be put extremely out of their depth.​

‘My expectations should not reflect my own desires.

The Allsorts also want our families to come together and enjoy our dog’s company, in the same way we love and appreciate them daily. But huge family gatherings, and throughout the day, any circumstances that stretch beyond the norm put pressure on our dogs that is undue, and unfair.

Recently, Letisha hosted a children's birthday party. Merlin and Bo are wonderful with her own children, and would have been ‘fine’ around visiting children. But who’s to say the visiting children were not going to do something offensive, just like what happened to Rush? Climbing on them or something similar would have quickly pushed them into the ‘not fine’ area, and to prevent that from happening, Merlin and Bo were placed in their kennels for the duration of the event.

What is your level of supervision going to be? Can you instruct, manage, and monitor the human interactions with your dog over the whole time they are around your dogs? 

Brooke knows that Bella, her personable bull terrier, would look ‘fine’ to any bustle of visitors who came over for a movie night, but Brooke knows Bella best, and where she would feel most comfortable and safe is in her bedroom. Plop her down with a chew, chilling out on her favourite bean bag, and that's a great night for her. Bella makes friends after careful introductions, not immediately!

We don’t expect to become best friends with people we’ve only just met, so why do we put that huge expectation on our dogs?

Estelle has a household of 10 dogs currently. At an event, there are only two or three of the dogs who enjoy humans enough to perhaps make an appearance. Even with knowing they’d be ‘fine’, over time the dogs would get tired, potentially overwhelmed, and then their tolerance for interactions would decrease, just as a human does over time. The best alternative is that every dog is away in their crates, in a quiet room. There is no need for them to meet all the guests.

‘Fine’ balances a line of functional, happy, comfortable and receptive. It also sits alongside the feelings of being stressed, unhappy, frightened or unsure. Do you really want to test if it’s going to slip either way in a circumstance you don’t have full control over?

My dog, Charlie, has balanced that line so precariously for a very long time. My expectations, as a very social person, were that she could be everyone’s best mate. In reality, instead of saying hello, she wants the exact opposite from people she doesn’t know. She wants to be left alone - new humans make her uncomfortable. Christmas is going to be a quiet one for her, around the back of the property, tucked away in her kennel with something yummy while we all sing around the BBQ away from her. Just as she wants.

Good dogs are failed by us when we let them balance the very delicate line of ‘fine’. Because what may look fine to us is a dog inhibiting their behaviour. It may be a dog just tolerating the situations we put them in.

Set your dog up for happiness, functionality and comfort. Not just to be… fine.

Authored by Sarah Endres
Dog Trainer and Behaviour Advisor